Brace Yourselves

Here's the thing about change, it happens whether we like it or not. That's not to say that we have no control of the things that change, I actually think we have quite a lot of say in that matter. However, there is no logic in denying that change, just happens. Lately I've been frustrated with many of my peers and here's why: I see and hear so many of us( yes I include myself in this) grumbling about things we want to change in our lives. Jobs, hair styles, quality of life, relationship status, good Lord that last one is hugely prevalent. In the past week, I've seen about six posts on various social medias including the phrases "being single sucks", "#toosingle", and "#ineedaman". No you frickin' don't! I am so irritated with people who define their happiness and worth by their relationship status. And that's coming from a girl who's been single for quite a few years. It's not like I'm happily committed and patronizing all you single folks, believe me, I get it. It gets lonely sometimes. You just want someone to cuddle with and to always be there for you and geek out over movies with you, but you know what? There is such a beauty to independence (I realize this is all opinion and maybe you disagree, if so go write a blog about, it's a lovely way to vent, but for now let me do my venting). Independence! I can't tell you how many people have told me, "Melissa, you're too independent..." I've even heard "You'll never get a man if you don't learn some dependence...", do you even hear yourselves people? Did it never occur to you that my main goal in life is not to find my "other half" or my "soulmate" or whatever other horseshit that society has convinced us we need? Because the idea that "I need to get a boyfriend" is completely outlandish and I may slap the next person who says it to me. As if I have somehow been slacking on that front, and boy I really need to hop to it or people will think that *gasp* I enjoy being single! This isn't Colonial America! Single twenty year olds are no longer considered "spinsters", it's OK to not have a boyfriend or girlfriend and like it. Now maybe I am completely cuckoo, and maybe I'm the only one who is happy in their singleness, and if so than I feel quite awkward, but I don't think I am the only one. I think that a lot of people are OK with being single but feel like maybe they shouldn't be quite so OK with it.
So I started by mentioning change did I not? Well here's where I tie that in and it's all very clever(not), twelve years ago, eight year old me was pretty sure she'd be married with a kid by now. She wanted to be a singer, but as any of my friends will tell you that is absolutely not in my future. She sure as hell didn't think that she'd be trying to move to Europe, and she certainly didn't think she'd be wasting time on a crappy, opinionated blog, and yet here I sit, spewing opinions left and right. My point is this; ninety nine point nine percent of us aren't who we thought we would be. Frankly, I'm supremely glad I'm not who eight year old me wanted to be, or even who eighteen year old me wanted to be. However, if you're unhappy with something in your life, stop posting about it on Instagram and Twitter, go do something about it. If it's your job, quit it, if it's your style, change it, if it's your church, try something new, don't like your hair? Cut it, it grows back, and it's fun, trust me. I realize it's easier to be so offhand with materialistic things, but if it is your relationship status that you find bothersome, I'd encourage you to stop looking at life as necessarily a two person or a couples adventure. Because I know I've learned the most about love when I've fallen out of it, and I've learned the most about being a friend or companion when I've been alone. Isn't that what life is about? Learning? You have one, beautiful shot at this life, don't spend it searching for someone to complete you, or a job that will make you happy or a style that will make others like you because you will miss so much. Do something crazy, go somewhere new, learn a new culture or language, all by yourself, make some memories that are just yours. That way when you finally meet someone you want to spend the remainder of your life with, you'll have a foundation of yourself to build a relationship off of. Because I am convinced that the search for your other half will leave you null and void. I plan to wait instead, for someone who will accompany me through this life as a friend and lover, not as someone to complete whatever is supposed to be missing from me. So tell me, what do you plan to do with your one, wild and precious life?