The Americans Are Coming!!

...well, technically they're already here. In case you were wondering, three of my most favoritest people in world have come to visit me!! Two of my best friends from high school and one of my best friends from work arrived this morning all the way from California...amazing right?! After a particularly frustrating journey on the District Line(typical) I finally got to Heathrow and began the search through the International Arrivals gate and its myriad of coffee shops for the lovely Kelsey. You know those horrifically cheesy airport scenes in movies where loved ones are reunited and one person runs into the awaiting arms of the other in slow motion, grinning like a fool? Yeah, that's exactly what happened. Except it wasn't in slow motion, and I was actually awkwardly, shuffle-running rather than just running. Either way it was beautiful and I don't care how may people looked at us weirdly. Anyways, after picking everyone up, we took a rather harrowing cab ride home and sat there blinking at each other  wondering if any time had in fact passed since our last meeting. Despite being well aware that I've been away for almost 5 months, seeing my friends sitting around my flat laughing, reminiscing, and joking with each other, it still feels like I saw them just yesterday. It's a strange thing to be away from lifelong friends for so long and then to see them; everything feels completely normal, as if we always hangout at my flat in London on Saturdays. Anyways, more on our adventures later!
So it's Christmas break for this makeup student, I have about a week left until it's back for the final six weeks of college, two weeks of advanced casualty and four weeks of advanced fashion. I can't believe how quickly these past four and a half months have gone, nor can I imagine what it'll be like to go back to Chico. I feel as though I'm living in a safety net, and by moving back I'm cutting a hole in the middle of that net and it's a bit terrifying to be honest. In all my time dreaming about this school and life in London, I never thought much about the return trip, at least I tried not to. I'm not entirely sure why, but being on my own this past week has made me acutely aware that the "real world" is waiting for me back in the States. At any rate, I suppose there's no reason to dwell on it now, I still have time.
Christmas here was actually very nice despite being away from my family! I spent it with a friend from school and we cooked massive amounts of food, drank wine and prosecco, talked each other's ears off, and watched all eight of the Harry Potter movies. Not the most monumental of days but we thought it was pretty darn great. Nothing spectacular happened in the days before that, just me watching copious amounts of Sons of Anarchy, singing really loudly and taking long walks in the freezing cold. As much as I'm enjoying the time off, I look forward to being back in college and doing more makeup and learning new tricks of the trade. Before we broke up for Christmas, we did Fashion makeup which I really enjoyed. I wasn't sure I would, but a few days in I was loving it, the amount of artistry that goes into creating a catwalk or editorial look is incredible. Initially I thought I'd go through this course with the film industry as the goal but it turns out I quite like fashion too! Full of surprises aren't you London...
I promise to write again soon when there's another week of shenanigans under these four American's belts, for now three of us are jet-lagged and one's just plain tired so for now, goodnight xx

Unofficial

This a really random and probably short blog post, but I wanted to share it "unofficially", as in it's not posted to Facebook or Twitter or whatever. I wanted to blog about it because it felt like a defining moment for me. Just not one that I wanted to announce to all of Facebook...

An old friend recently pointed out to me that I've changed a lot in the few months since I've moved. Obvious right? But here's what got me: they said something along the lines of "you've grown into your personality...". When I asked them what they meant they replied with, "you're not the same quiet girl, you've grown into your personality. I don't get the feeling you'd take anybody's shit anymore. You might have taken it lying down a couple months ago, but I get the impression that now, you'd confront anything that you didn't think was right, that's a good thing...".

You've grown into yourself. It's an interesting idea isn't it?...Anyways, to that person, you know who you are, thank you. Seriously.

Thank you.

Day By Day

Well, it seems like ages since I last blogged anything at all. I feel as though an update is necessary...so let's see what I can tempt you with. My attempts at dealing with the weather? Random adventures throughout London? Cool makeup stuff? At little of everything you say? You got it. Let's start with the way Mother Nature behaves around these parts...

First, let me start by saying that I am a Californian. I currently live in London, England. That should tell you all you need to know, but where's the fun in that? I know that the weather isn't generally something to blog about, it's more that topic you desperately cling to while flailing about on a bad date. However, let me at least attempt to make it an enjoyable topic. You see, I come from a place where the last big snow storm was in like 1938 or something crazy like that, and by "big snow storm" I mean a couple inches of sleet. I don't think I've ever experienced weather below, oh I don't know, 30 degrees? And that's in early mornings in January. It's barely November here, and the temperature has already opened a can of Whoop Ass on me. It's about 11 pm and already a mere 46 degrees. Why, oh why didn't I choose I warmer country...Anyways, it's not purely the temperature, oh no. Supposedly, it actually SNOWS here too. Like proper snow. I'm barely scraping by with adjusting to the rain and wind and general frigidity of this place as it is, but there might be snow too?! Someone help me. I live in the Arctic. Oh and let's not even begin to talk about the struggles of using an umbrella...seriously, do you know how many people I've clocked with my umbrella in an effort to utilize it properly? A lot, that's how many. It's an endless stream of, "Oh excuse me!", "Let me just untangle our umbrellas...", and "Oh God, I'm just...I'm so sorry." And what the bloody heck are you supposed to do with a sopping wet umbrella on the tube? Seriously, please somebody tell me the British etiquette for this scenario because so far I've stabbed myself and sprayed people with rainwater. Also, has anybody else experienced that moment of walking behind a cluster of umbrella users and you suddenly find yourself judging these people by their umbrellas? Then consequently wondering if the people behind you are doing the same thing and if so, I don't think I like what my paisley umbrella says about me. Then there's always that one guy who's walking around in shorts and a tee shirt completely oblivious to the cold, never mind that it's pouring rain, he's happy as a clam. Final note on the weather here, somebody tell Primark that paper bags just don't hold up in the rain. They just don't.

Now, let's see what sort of adventures have been had...Well, for starters I went to Hyde Park today, which was lovely. However, what my artsy Instagram photos won't tell you is that somewhere between entering and leaving the park I did in fact sit in bird poop. Classic Melissa Adventure. But let's move on from that. So a couple weeks back myself and some girls from my class did a bit of work experience at a Halloween party in North London, which was amazing and tons of fun. We got to do all kinds of cool makeup and get a feel for the general persona of being a make up artist. Anyways, during the process of talking to clients while transforming them into cats, or brides of Frankenstein, or zombies, I made the unfortunate discovery that some commonly used words in America mean something altogether different here. Like, for example, when I asked the guy who I had just given a sliced arm to please "check his gash out, and see what he thought...". All you British people are having a good chuckle at me aren't you? Bastards...You see, what poor me didn't know was that "gash" is apparently British slang for a woman's erm, downstairs area. So, as you can imagine, everyone else in the room got a good laugh while I stood there trying to figure out what I had said that was so gosh darn funny. Of course it didn't help that the guy was super cute too...just my luck. Another client, spent a solid three minutes trying to guess which state I was from until I said the words "thank you" and he suddenly shouted "California!!". Apparently all Californian girls say "thank you" the same way (which is just not true) and we all sound like Katy Perry when we do. I thought this was a gross misjudgment and told him I wasn't going to thank him for anything anymore. There have also been the smaller but equally enjoyable and fun adventures, like on Halloween, taking a friend out for her first beer and watching her starting to talk nonsense barely halfway through a pint. That was also the night that I ordered a beer with a 7.8% alcohol content and didn't realize what a bad idea that was until I was laughing for no reason whatsoever a little over halfway through my pint. Ah well, live and learn right? There was the time I got a bus at random and ended up on the opposite side of London and frankly had no idea how to get back, the time that my roommate and I sat next to each other competitively playing Diner Dash on our respective laptops because yes we are that cool. There was the time when I discovered that Swedish apple juice is a thousand  and a half times better than American, or any other kind for that matter. There was the time I saw the guy from One Direction, and the guy who plays Carson from Downton Abbey as well. There was the time I overindulged on chips from Nando's, which is actually every time I go to Nando's. There was the time I tried mac and cheese from a can (I don't recommend it). There was the time I spent a solid hour getting makeup peeled off my face, arm, and chest and the time I freaked out while being driven around in a car on the wrong side of the road. I could go on, but I think you get the point, there have been many, many beautiful adventures here.
Last but definitely not least. MAKEUP. Last time I blogged I was still knee deep in hair styling, In the time since then I have done two weeks of casualty and character makeup and one week of body painting and airbrushing. Casualty and character has been by far my favorite module, I mean I spent two weeks making people look like everything from gunshot victims, to different genders, to drug addicts. It was morbid and gruesome and amazing. Which makes me sound like a total nutcase but I think I can live with that. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed this part of the course, I'm not usually one for blood and gore but during those two weeks I actually had a hashtag for just that. I loved making burns, slash marks, track marks, bruises, and gunshot wounds and the more blood the better, it was a whole new side to myself! Character was really amazing too, we got to age each other and do gender changes as well. All in all it was a bloody good couple of weeks ( *wink wink* see what I did there? Puns...right). So body painting, was an interesting time. We mostly did airbrushing, which is much harder than I was expecting, or maybe I was just phenomenally bad at it. At any rate, it was not my favorite thing to do, or have done, as the blowing sensation is a bit unpleasant, especially for a person who wears contact lenses. However, it was interesting to learn how to use the airbrush and to get a different perspective on makeup application. The actual body painting that we did was just painting clothes on each other, which again is not really my cup of tea. If I'm going to paint I prefer it to be with watercolors so I can smear it all together into a "sunset" or something if it looks bad. However, painting clothes on is a challenge, the shading had to be right and and the 3D perspective had to be there to make it look realistic and there was contrasting and highlighting and I'm just not very good at that. Particularly when it's in non-nude colors. Anyways, it's been a varied and fun few weeks, and tomorrow we start on hair again, but this time it's hair cutting and barbering...dun, dun, DUN. Not that I'm nervous, not at all. I'll keep you posted on how it goes, unless it goes terribly awry, in which case I won't post anything.
Goodnight for now, it's been, as usual, an absolute pleasure.
You stay classy world

The "I've probably had too much red wine at this point" blog post

Hello again!

I know I know, I haven’t written a blog in a month and you’ve all been simply desolate without my witty posts, I’m terribly sorry. Anyways…where to begin-these last few weeks have been absolute madness. Working out all the kinks in moving across the Atlantic and whatnot, takes work, who knew? But I don’t want to bore you with my stressful…stuff. Oh heck, what else do you write/ read a blog for if not to talk about the humdrum things in life. So here are my humdrums: being the outrageously intelligent person  that I am, I horrendously miscalculated my finances for the first months, so it was what I like to call a “skinny” couple of weeks. Today however, remedied that when I was able to get my hands on my money from back in Chico and I promptly bought enough groceries for ten people(whoops). There’s still the occasional “oops, I’m on the wrong, bloody tube” moments, the “did I really just say bloody?” moments, the “dear Lord, I have to top up my Oyster card AGAIN?!” and let’s not forget the “let’s drink wine and watch Harry Potter till we’re crying and laughing for literally no reason at all “moments. I’ve also had the experience of finding a spider larger than I care to think about and having to bludgeon it to death. Okay enough of that though, now my own humdrums are boring me too, so let us move on to the bigger and better things yes?

First of all, I’d like to take this time to point out that I live in London. A small fact that I still can’t get over and tends to hit me in the most inconvenient of times; for example, last week on the tube, surrounded by strangers I suddenly got all giddy and couldn’t stop grinning like a fool because I realized that I’m living my dream. Never had so many strange looks from people in my life, okay I have but whatever, I was making a point. That point being that there is something so satisfying about living the life that you have worked so hard to achieve and not to toot my own horn here but I worked pretty damn hard for this. And although I know that the hard work has only just begun, I think, if I may, that I’ve quite deserved this. Toot.

And now I have to mention one itty bitty negative thing, because it’s a blog and it just can’t all be happy go lucky stuff, and because a girl’s gotta complain every now and again. Never fear though, it’s just a wee thing. You see, ever since got here, I’ve referred to it as home. Because that’s what it feels like, and how I feel when I’m here, is at home. Makes sense right? But there have been people who have actually corrected me when I’ve done that. Tried to tell me that no, I’m not home, because Chico is obviously the only home I’ll ever have. Which I’ll be honest, really, really irritates me. First, I am home. Because home is not just one place, if I may be so bold as to say so, home is wherever you feel at home. Furthermore, my home is not solely in Chico, or in Ealing, it’s wherever I feel at home. Second of all, please don’t presume to know where my home is. I can’t even name all the places that I feel at home, and that I consider to be home. I certainly don’t mean to point fingers or insult these people but when I refer to this as home, please, don’t correct me.

….Awkward. I feel like I just lectured a small child and now I have to carry on. So let’s talk about something else. School! School is going wonderfully. Mostly.  The last couple of weeks have been focused on hair, which is twice as exhausting as makeup.  Personally I’ve really struggled with hair, It’s not something I excel in or that comes naturally to me, like makeup. Trying to manage my mop of hair is difficult enough but rolling, tonging and styling other people’s hair? Forgetaboutit! In the beginning, everything I did seemed to consistently end up a sticky, overly curled mess that I could maybe pass off as a “messy but styled” look. Recently, it’s gotten better. Despite my burned and blistered fingertips I can actually produce something that looks vaguely like a fashionable hairstyle, which is really exciting for a girl whose go-to is a bun on the top of her head. At any rate, it’s hard but it’s getting better, and now it’s time for these burned and traumatized fingers to stop typing out my rambling thoughts and go to bed because they’ve had a rough day. Like trying to open a very stubborn bottle of wine, which sums up my week thus far perfectly, so goodnight my friends, forgive me for my rambling blog.

xoxo

Crumpets and Curls

I promised myself that I would write a blog the second I got to England so that I could begin this epic journey with you all throughout my time here…clearly that worked very well. At any rate, here we are, one week and two days into the six months that I will be spending here, and it is going along fabulously! If ever I felt at home, it’s here, in the small borough of Ealing, tucked away in a western corner of London town.

There’s something very quaint and delightful about Ealing. I’m not sure how to describe it, which if you know me at all; you know how infuriating I find not being able to describe something. The people are friendly, but still, you know, British. There are a myriad of brick houses and studios and flats, one could get lost in the identical architecture of them, literally…I speak from experience. The Mall, a number of blocks with a wide variety of shops, businesses, and restaurants is about a 20 minute walk from my flat and it is truly delightful. Hundreds of people bustling about on their daily business, glaringly red double decker buses scrape around corners; taxis rush around each other and dodge pedestrians like nobody’s business. There are more shops than I could ever explore, French clothes to Polish bakeries, and almost literally everything in between. I can’t get anywhere without bumping into someone or consequently being bumped into, it’s almost more strange to not get bumped. The diversity of the people is one of my favorite things about Ealing. There are languages being spoken and I have no idea what they might be, there are people from every part of England and the U.K., from the Middle East, Africa, Asia, and the occasional American too. It’s amazing how little I hear English being spoken out on the streets. Despite the challenges of being somewhere so completely different than Chico, I find myself loving the adjustment process. My first week went by so quickly, I can only imagine how fast the rest of my time will fly by,(I'm trying not to think about that too much) but in the meantime, I want to tell you a bit about my time here thus far.

The first week was quite chaotic, between running amok trying to find things to detail and furnish my humble abode, trying to get to know my roommate, maneuvering around a new city, and spending some last minute time with my parents, I felt as though I might pop. Yet, here I sit, successfully un-popped and settled in. Mostly. It really depends on your definition of "settled in". Anyways, my first night here was….interesting. It was a Bank Holiday(still not sure what that really is) and all the stores were closing early. A fact that I was not aware of until I stood in front of a store brimming with necessities and was literally left out in the rain. So, after a cold walk in the rain and wind, my roommate, Stefanie, and I made it back to our home and promptly went to bed. Unfortunately, one of the necessities locked out of my grasp was a blanket for my bare bed, so I spent the night swaddled in a sheet along with sweats, a sweater, wool socks, a beanie and a sweatshirt. Not the most pleasant of sleeps. However, the next day was distinctly more positive and we managed to get a very cozy blanket along with other stuff that I won’t bore you with. So to summarize, last week was mostly me and my parents running around, buying things and trying to see some sights in London, eventful to say the least.

The last two days have possibly been the best so far, even giving my night at Richard the Third a run for its money. Yesterday I started school at Delamar Academy of Makeup and it’s been amazing. I realize it’s probably not as exciting to people less passionate about makeup design, but just humor me. Yesterday was my first day and after trying so desperately to look extra good because, I mean it’s beauty school, my curled hair flattened in about ten minutes and my makeup nearly vanished shortly after. Cheers London weather. Upon arriving to the school, wet and humbled, I was dismayed to see that all my classmates were distinctly prettier than myself. Of course it didn’t help that I looked like a drowned, Californian rat who was way out of her element, which let’s face it, I am. At any rate, I mustered my pride and managed to at least act like I was confident throughout the whole debriefing. A few hours later, after lunch, my pride got kicked to the curb again as we all had to strip off our makeup and bare all to people we hardly knew, a hard task if you have terrible skin. Then we received our makeup kits for the course, and I swear to you, I heard angels sing when I got my kit. Filled to the brim with makeup and tools, and our textbook, it was and still is a beautiful thing. After rooting through our loot and oohhh-ing and ahhh-ing, my classmates and I plunged ahead under our tutor’s guidance and began the basics of beauty. This is essentially just foundation and blemish coverage along with some concealing techniques. At the end of the day we packed up, carted our makeup kits back home so we could have a proper look at all the goodies inside and rubbed our sore shoulders that had to lug 10 pounds of makeup home. It might not sound like much, I realize, but to me it was the best first day at school that I’ve ever had. It’s so much more fun to learn something that you love and enjoy, and I can’t wait to see where this course takes me. More on that later, for now, it’s time to fetch my laundry from outside before it stops drying and starts freezing.

Xoxo

What Writer's Block?

I promised myself that I would write another blog entry precisely 10 days before I embark to the Foreign Land of England. Yet here I sit, hand poised to type some worthy prose that you might feel is actually worth reading and I find myself thoroughly lacking inspiration. How aggravating. The past few weeks, heck months, have been a flurry of emails. paperwork, chaos, and tears, the good and the bad kind of tears. I quit my job of two solid, adventurous years, saw my beloved brother and consequently said goodbye(que the not-so happy kind of tears), completed everything on my Chico bucket list, oh! I also got my apartment finalized! Probably one of the best feelings in the world, knowing that I have a place to call home in a country that's five thousand miles away from everything familiar. Here's a small taste of what it looks like :)

Pretty cute huh? The room with the balcony/ no bed(for now) is mine, and the other belongs to my lovely roommate Stefanie, who also took these pictures. I found it rather coincidental that my room gets a balcony. See, whenever I had imagined my flat in London, before all this started to become a reality, it always had a balcony, and now it really does! It's the little things guys...

Speaking of little things, if any of you feel like writing me or sending me anything while I'm abroad please don't hesitate to Facebook message me and I'll get my address for you! I LOVE getting stuff in the mail so don't hesitate! 

Okay, my writer's block is getting progressively worse so I'm going to call it a night before I get really boring. At least I fulfilled my promise to myself though! I promise my next entry will be much more exciting and not consist of 70% pictures...

 Roughly 217 hours until it's adios California and cheers London!

Brace Yourselves

Here's the thing about change, it happens whether we like it or not. That's not to say that we have no control of the things that change, I actually think we have quite a lot of say in that matter. However, there is no logic in denying that change, just happens. Lately I've been frustrated with many of my peers and here's why: I see and hear so many of us( yes I include myself in this) grumbling about things we want to change in our lives. Jobs, hair styles, quality of life, relationship status, good Lord that last one is hugely prevalent. In the past week, I've seen about six posts on various social medias including the phrases "being single sucks", "#toosingle", and "#ineedaman". No you frickin' don't! I am so irritated with people who define their happiness and worth by their relationship status. And that's coming from a girl who's been single for quite a few years. It's not like I'm happily committed and patronizing all you single folks, believe me, I get it. It gets lonely sometimes. You just want someone to cuddle with and to always be there for you and geek out over movies with you, but you know what? There is such a beauty to independence (I realize this is all opinion and maybe you disagree, if so go write a blog about, it's a lovely way to vent, but for now let me do my venting). Independence! I can't tell you how many people have told me, "Melissa, you're too independent..." I've even heard "You'll never get a man if you don't learn some dependence...", do you even hear yourselves people? Did it never occur to you that my main goal in life is not to find my "other half" or my "soulmate" or whatever other horseshit that society has convinced us we need? Because the idea that "I need to get a boyfriend" is completely outlandish and I may slap the next person who says it to me. As if I have somehow been slacking on that front, and boy I really need to hop to it or people will think that *gasp* I enjoy being single! This isn't Colonial America! Single twenty year olds are no longer considered "spinsters", it's OK to not have a boyfriend or girlfriend and like it. Now maybe I am completely cuckoo, and maybe I'm the only one who is happy in their singleness, and if so than I feel quite awkward, but I don't think I am the only one. I think that a lot of people are OK with being single but feel like maybe they shouldn't be quite so OK with it.
So I started by mentioning change did I not? Well here's where I tie that in and it's all very clever(not), twelve years ago, eight year old me was pretty sure she'd be married with a kid by now. She wanted to be a singer, but as any of my friends will tell you that is absolutely not in my future. She sure as hell didn't think that she'd be trying to move to Europe, and she certainly didn't think she'd be wasting time on a crappy, opinionated blog, and yet here I sit, spewing opinions left and right. My point is this; ninety nine point nine percent of us aren't who we thought we would be. Frankly, I'm supremely glad I'm not who eight year old me wanted to be, or even who eighteen year old me wanted to be. However, if you're unhappy with something in your life, stop posting about it on Instagram and Twitter, go do something about it. If it's your job, quit it, if it's your style, change it, if it's your church, try something new, don't like your hair? Cut it, it grows back, and it's fun, trust me. I realize it's easier to be so offhand with materialistic things, but if it is your relationship status that you find bothersome, I'd encourage you to stop looking at life as necessarily a two person or a couples adventure. Because I know I've learned the most about love when I've fallen out of it, and I've learned the most about being a friend or companion when I've been alone. Isn't that what life is about? Learning? You have one, beautiful shot at this life, don't spend it searching for someone to complete you, or a job that will make you happy or a style that will make others like you because you will miss so much. Do something crazy, go somewhere new, learn a new culture or language, all by yourself, make some memories that are just yours. That way when you finally meet someone you want to spend the remainder of your life with, you'll have a foundation of yourself to build a relationship off of. Because I am convinced that the search for your other half will leave you null and void. I plan to wait instead, for someone who will accompany me through this life as a friend and lover, not as someone to complete whatever is supposed to be missing from me. So tell me, what do you plan to do with your one, wild and precious life?

Hello Future

Bon Soir lovely people! So this is my blog. Welcome. The last time I blogged anything was in 2010. And that was just the pubescent whining of a 16 year old girl *disclaimer* this might be the more grown up whining of a 20 year old girl and might not actually be any better*disclaimer*. Now that we've got that settled, what are people blogging about these days? Politics? Relationships? Physics? Goodness knows I have little interest in any of those. But seriously, am I supposed to talk about my life? That does seem rather narcissistic. Perhaps I should start with a brief debriefing of who I actually am. Oh God, I've forgotten everything about myself, hang on...okay, I'm a 20 year old California native. I'm a waitress in a pizza joint which I will probably complain about at some point. I went to Butte College for a year and then dropped out since I hated it. Then, in a horribly cliched move of Fate, I decided to enroll in beauty school. Of course it's not just any beauty school, Heavens no! Delamar Academy is a special effects make up school and it's in London! So that makes it better?...Maybe...anyways now I am forced to admit to you that I am waiting tables to put myself through beauty school which sounds like the beginning of a terrible movie about a girl finding herself. I should point out that I am an incurable sarcastic and pessimist so if that bugs you, don't let the virtual door hit you on the way out. Now what was I saying? Ah yes, my no longer very brief debriefing, I honestly don't know what to tell you guys, I feel so terribly dull all of a sudden. Let's see, my favorite color is turquoise, my favorite actress is Audrey Hepburn, I love Indie music and I'm a HUGE nerd. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Doctor Who, Monty Python, Sherlock, Merlin, Marvel Comics, Batman(did DC comics even do anything else??), I love sports and here are my teams: MLB: San Francisco Giants, NFL: San Diego Chargers( if you're a Raiders fan, go back and read the witty thing about the virtual door) and college basketball: Oregon Ducks(quack). I love summer, strawberries, and warm rain. I am most definitely a dog person and my dog Kenya is my soul mate. I am the klutz of the family, as well as the youngest, my only brother is 24 and he's pretty cool( Tommy if you read this by some weird chance, you're way cooler than "pretty cool" but I was trying to be cool, sorry) he lives in LA, and I still live at home( don't judge, London is damn expensive). My hobbies include, but are not limited to, writing, running, eating, reading, listening to music, drinking tea, playing dress up, spending Saturdays doing make up(and yes I mean the whole day), and spending time with my spectacular friends. I have a strange obsession with words(don't ask), I just find that they have a very subtle power and I love using the most peculiar words imaginable. I thrive on sarcasm and irony and if you can understand mine and use it yourself then we'll get along just fine. I feel like you might be losing interest, not that I blame you, everyone gets boring at some point. However if you are still interested in this mutilated blog and single, message me ;) just kidding ha ha, that was awkward sorry. You might be wondering why I decided to start a blog. The truth is I just had a lot on my mind and I felt like blogging might be a fun way to get some of that stuff out. You see recently with all this London planning I've gotten caught up in 113 days from now as opposed to right now. I hate to admit it but that is making my life exceptionally difficult. Not that it's bad to think about the future, it's just that I've been consumed by it lately. It's hard, to try and live in the present while trying to find a roommate and an apartment and apply for a visa. Not to mention I'm scared out of my mind. There I said it. I'm actually really scared. Don't get me wrong I cannot wait to do this, I am so very very excited, but it's really terrifying at the same time. I mean the longest I've been away from home and family was 2 weeks, and even then I was with friends. This is so different though, thousands of miles away in a different country, on my own with people I hardly know. Not your everyday situation. It's not that I'm scared to leave per say, I've traveled before and it's easily the best thing I have ever done. What really scares me is the possibility of failure. What if I get there and graduate and can't get a job? What if I don't even get there? And all this dreaming, this worrying is for naught? I know I'm probably over thinking a lot of it, and "it'll all be fine" and yes that's what I want to hear but I know it's not what I need to hear. I don't know if that makes any sense or if you can relate but who cares, it's my blog right? And if you're still reading than I guess it does make sense. I know that got kind of deep for a bit so thanks for bearing with me. I am so worried that I'm blogging the wrong way!! Is there even a right way to blog? I doubt it. Okay I think this is a wrap. I'm gonna go eat some strawberries and do the laundry I've put off for 3 hours. Thanks for reading, if you liked this say so! I'm very insecure, and if you didn't then don't say anything. Just kidding, just be nice about it. Goodnight darlings!